So I am at work, just working away trying to get a few things done before a 3 day weekend when I notice my zipper looks all caddy wompus. So I go to the loo to check it out and see what the frick is going on with my new jeans. So my zipper is broke and I am livid, I just bought these on clearance but clearance is still supposed to function right??? So I grab my purse ( luckily my purse passes as a carry on bag and I can hide the front of my body down to my knees) after checking with some people to see if they happen to have a safety pin until I can get home and do some investigating. Luckily I drove my own car that day. So I decide to hit up the dollar store, they have to have safety pins right? NOPE, loads of 100 year old candy, spatulas in every color, and broken picture frames but no "sewing department" (clerks words not mine..). Are you kidding me dollar store, you sell micorwave dinners, you have a freezer isle but no pins. Ok...deep breath, I will just run across the street to Walgreens and if they don't have any, I am calling it a day ( I really am this dramatic). So I get there and I walk up and down all the isles and I don't see them. At this point I am just ready to just pick up some super glue. So I find an employee and I ask where they are.."oh in between automotive and pets"....why didn't I think of that. Really? So I see them and although they look like they were made in the 70s for cloth diapers, I grab them. I don't want to just get the pins because in my head this alerts the Walgreens folks of "an issue" so I grab a dog toy ( I know...pack of gum anyone..normal..) and head for the counter. So I am looking around and I don't see anyone, I am yell "Hellllo" when I see a lady sitting on a cardboard box behind the counter. So I say..."Ummm do you work here or are you hiding from the law?" "Oh, yeah dear, it's just really slow right now.."Apparently at Walgreens you can just hide out in slow times..note to self...retire...sleep at Walgreens...collect paycheck. So she loads my items ( I THINK) and use the debit machine and then I'm like "Can I use the restroom?" To which she replies "Sure honey, but someone will have to code you in." So she pages out ..."Will someone let this young lady in the bathroom." STOP- I am serious right now, I can't make this stuff up. So I get "coded" in apparently I pass the homeless test (another blog for another day) and I look in my bag and realize (now reader, imagine my face here) that she didn't scan, pack, or load the freakin pins. So I bolt out of the bathroom like the worst shoplifter ever and scan the counter, I focus in on the pins like an eagle with it's prey. I storm up to the counter in true teenage fashion, eyes rolled, huffing, and say to this sweet 70 somthing lady..."Excuuuuuse meeeeee, you didn't ring these up." "Oh, sorry dear." I'm all whatever like and getting ready for my dramtic exit. There is no wat in H-E-L-L that I am going to ask to use the loo again. So I get outside and I realize that I am the biggest prick in the world and I go back in to apologize to this lady. So I tell her all about my "bad day" and she is really nice about it. I mean I was practically like pull up some cardboard for me sista. So then I leave and I think I will run to DQ for a slush thing and just use their loo. So I get there and do the best stitch job I can do (ok, reader, I know right now you are rolling your eyes and thinking how freaking big is this zipper area, and to that I say "Piss off, you don't want the pin to show stupid!") Well all the kids are on winter break and I don't feel up to watching 13 year olds make out in line, all the while deciding what they can get with their 5 bucks for 4 people so I bolt. Apparently they don't care about the homeless test. So I get back to work exhausted, frustrated like I just performed brain surgery as opposed to riggin a zipper and figure I can hide out for my last 2 hours of the day....
P.S. I know who you are clearance pants company and I don't forget!
